Is That All There Is...to a life?
So I went to the funeral. Sylvia's family were there at the gravesite and I was asked if I would like to say anything in her memory. Quite honestly, I would have been too choked up to attempt it. Her sister was appreciative of my presence as were most of the other "mourners". Every family has one, Patti, her niece was the cold one. Aloof. Was it because of The Siver?
Sylvia was always interested in who I was going to be having for dinner on any given night. What was I going to serve? Who was coming, what time? One particular evening I was serving seafood, and needed seafood forks and Sylvia was so happy that she could contribute to my evening by lending me her sterling silver cocktail forks. On my next birthday Sylvia presented me with the felt pouch that protected the silver forks. The next year she gave me the butter spreaders that matched the rest of her silver service."When I die, I'm going to leave the silver to you".
Years went by, and two years ago she moved into an assisted living facility. She had no family in Floriduh so I unpacked her boxes, hung her pictures, set up the kitchen,and got her "set up". She was so appreciative. Weeks later she said to me "I don't know how to thank you. What can I do?" "Well...considering that you won't be cooking anymore, I would love the sterling., and you would be around to see me use it". "Oh I am so sorry". I gave it to my neice.
I didn't know what to say, so I wrote her a letter explaining that "as you know, I could have bought any silver service in any pattern I liked if I desired". This was not a "money thing". It was "Sylvia's silver" that would have been special to me. Speaking to her in later conversations she sounded disappointed in herself for renegging on something that she never remembered saying in the first place.( A two sided sword).
Months later, Sylvia wasn't feeling well, and when I phoned her, her niece answered the phone. "Ohh...helllo" with attitude.
So....now it's post burial time. The "mourners"went through the apartment with a fine tooth comb making sure to find Sylvia's stash. If they did, or didn't hit paydirt I will never know. Left were heaps of her clothing in the living room. Her sister asked me if I would like Sylvia's desk and I said yes in a heartbeat. I had always admired it. Gorgeous wood, and an oval in shape. She asked if there were anything else that I would want, which there really was not. Since her family lived out of town it was difficult to make arrangements to empty out her apartment , (otherwise the desk would have been taken I am sure) so I volunteered to get the charities in to cart awy the remaining furniture etc. While in the apartment, I went over to my new desk. The drawers were emptied. One drawer though did not close well. The overflow of papers of years past fell to the back of the desk and now I found myself pulling out old birthday cards from her husband, Valentines day cards from Sylvia to Sid, old bank information, and....
a letter that I wrote her regarding the silver. A little further down and I came some more cards, and then....the last piece of paper:
A picture of my late ex-wife and myself. I refuse to believe that there isn't a "big picture" out there.